II: The Pantoums of Dementia

Movement I - Undulation

the seconds slowed to stop as Father passed,

when flocking sons returned to home to mourn,

then Mother’s mind began to crack at last

as moments shed in threads she once had worn.

when flocking sons returned to home to mourn,

recast in lensing rays of age amassed

as moments shed in threads she once had worn

the Father’s sons adorned with clothes outcast.

recast in lensing rays of age amassed

a question, Mother, may I have a dance?

the Father’s sons adorned with clothes outcast

an offered hand through loops of time’s expanse.

a question, Mother, may I have a dance?

their Father knelt and tender took her hand,

an offered hand through loops of time’s expanse,

their final words in wilting hearts expand.

their Father knelt and tender took her hand,

the seconds slowed to stop as Father passed,

their final words in wilting hearts expand,

then Mother’s mind began to crack at last.

Movement II - Rearrangement

remember now before the future fades,

the sutured minutes of memories held,

records replayed as grooving sound degrades,

advancing echoes, music notes dispelled.

the sutured minutes of memories held:

now twirling dance, oh younger selves, entrance

advancing echoes, music notes dispelled

through silent waltz that swells with last romance.

now twirling dance, oh younger selves, in trance

with candled spells of woven hands that grasp

through silent waltz that swells with last romance

of eyes reshaping molds, the fated clasp.

with candled spells of woven hands that grasp

relapsing moments sung by bells and crowds

of eyes, reshaping molds the fated clasp

of past refrains now sealed beneath the clouds.

relapsing moments sung by bells and crowds

concealed by crumbling walls, demented shades

of past refrains now sealed beneath these clouds

that clutter skies in swarms that stretch decades.

concealed by crumbling walls, demented shades

(remember now before the future fades)

invade the hollowed mind as scream pervades

records replayed as grooving sound degrades.

Movement III - Dissolution

remember ancillary note sentries:

the good can decay many ways.

phantom morrow’s cough. in times realize

the mention there of tenant seasons.

the good candy came anyways;

all target the damaged mind in trance,

(the men shun their often antsy sons)

the flow ingrained decomposes.

altar, get the damn aged mind, entrance

memory erstwhile, foe kissing;

the flowing rain eddy composes

another ushered

memo rehearsed while focusing

an aim, wintry slight, upward ingrown

an other us heard

the fading names of suns.

a name when trees light up, warding grown

remembrance, ill airy notes in trees,

the fading names of sons

fan tomorrow’s coffin, time’s real eyes.

• June 2025

Submission History

Date	Publication	Status
June 1, 2025	Tabula Rasa	Rejected
June 1, 2025	The Louisville Review	Rejected
June 3, 2025	Frontier Poetry	Pending
June 4, 2025	Swan Scyth Press	Pending
June 6, 2025	Boulevard Magazine	Pending
June 12, 2025	Merion West	Pending
June 25, 2025	The Aftershock Review	Pending
July 10, 2025	The Metaworker	Pending

Rejection Letters

This rejection is in regards to “The Pantoums of Dementia.” We’re so sorry we could not bring you better news; we know firsthand how difficult it is to put yourself and your writing out there.

These were some of the critiques that our team had for “The Pantoums of Dementia”:

“While I love this collection, their meanings, and their structures, I do not feel the average reader will connect strongly with these pieces. The lines are a little convoluted, which is evidently intentional, but I feel the audience will grow frustrated with it, rather than engage further.”

“This is a really interesting approach, and I got chills at the end of the first poem. I’m not sure the third is as strong, but I also think the disjunct nature/images and change in voice/word choice are very fitting when you consider the subject. I think that viewed as a whole, this is a powerful piece.”

“The language used does not appeal to me nor makes this easy to digest for the common reader. I love the concept of this poem and find it unique, but it does not fully immerse me.”

“I like the pantoum form, but it’s very tricky to do well and not get frustrated with the repetition. Dementia is a clever way to use repetition, but the elevated vocabulary matched with formal structure distances the emotion of the poem. I’d recommend trying a more colloquial tone in the pantoum form.”

Overall, we did enjoy your submission and encourage you to submit again!

—The Editorial Team at Tabula Rasa Review